Your tits are I can't wait for
barbara walters just said penis...
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
40s are totally the cure
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
