i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
