u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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