A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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