So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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