throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
