remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
