let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
well you can't waste a boner
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Randomize
