it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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