I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
my shit smells like andre
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
