i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
