In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
