i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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