I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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