I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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