I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
