i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
