So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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