if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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