Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
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