So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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