I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
