I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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