I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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