We should be called the Road Head Warriors
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
