Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
