he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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