Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
