Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
