what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
