did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
