then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
