A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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