we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
