the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
