Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
