His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
