You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
