Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize
