quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
