Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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