DIN'T JUSGE NE.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
