I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
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