She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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