You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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