This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
