Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
