I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
