Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
