im gay
i know
yea but for you.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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