i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
